Thank you, thank you, thank you Larry Doyle.
Not only for providing me with several happy, laugh-filled hours as I read through your novel, I Love You, Beth Co
oper, (which is soon to appear on the silver screen).
(I’ve had this book in my overflowing Basket o’ To-Read Books since late last summer, and I swear, the very day I finally picked it up to read it, [or, okay, right after that, anyway], I learned that a film version starring that Hayden P. girl from Heroes hits theatres July 10.)
Anyone who suffered an obsession /crush-from-afar in high school, or happened to be clumsy, sweaty, cerebral, neurotic, and nervous, (in other words, anyone who was ME), will cringe and ache and laugh with recognition at—and must read—this book.
Also, anyone who grew up in the 80s, (and who grew up on John Hughes films), will alternately love the self-referential nature of the book, and lament how quickly time has gone by (specifically, in the scene in which the teens listen to “Don’t You Forget About Me” on the iPod-attached car radio and the main character, Denis Cooverman, notes the fact that the song is from their parents’ own high school days).
It’s the story about a bunch of suburban teens (from Buffalo Grove, IL) on their graduation night, a few hours after Denis Cooverman—a somewhat Portnoy-ish, worry-wart nerd and captain of the debate team—publicly declares—during his valedictorian speech—his love for the eponymous cheerleading captain, to whom he has barely spoken.
The author, Larry Doyle, used to write for The Simpsons, and the novel is bitingly, hilariously satirical. It’s also a little cartoon-y in a way that I won’t bore you with trying to explain here, but will say bugged me just slightly…but then totally redeemed itself in many other ways.)
ANYWAY, funnily enough, one of the passages that spoke to me most was not so much about awkwardness but about suburban kids spending a few moments out in the country.

After they’ve had a few beers—and gone through every urban legend about murders and hauntings taking place in this supposedly dark and spooky open space—they, like so many (real and fictional) teens of yore, decide it would be hilarious to go “tip” a cow.
Now, in any other show or movie or book about teenagers, this is usually the point where I groan, and, because I grew up on a farm, am forced to start hating the story—because it suddenly becomes clear that the writer or director or producer has never set foot in a rural area in his or her life, and also did not do his/her research.
So, thank you, thank you, thank you, Larry Doyle, for creating a scene in which your fictional teens learn the hard way that the phenomenon of “cow-tipping” is actually a bunch of bull!
Hopefully suburban kids everywhere will watch this movie and learn the error of their ways!
(Oh, and hopefully the script will stay true to the book, too! Although the trailer appears to belie one violation right off the bat, as Beth Cooper is totally supposed to have brown hair, not the golden tresses displayed by little miss Hayden P.
Sigh….
If this means the teens actually do end up “tipping” a cow in the movie version, I and my country kin should stage a revolt!)
I am glad you were able to post about this before I could. A note to your readers: the internal incident punishment will most likely be a time of unpaid leave, having to re-take the 40 hour duty weapon safety course, and giving safe firearms demonstrations to school age children.
Also, one other thing, I am very surprised that this was an officer of ISP, they are regarded as one of the top law enforcement agencies in the U.S.
Chris, I am a little ashamed, because at first I gave you a full-on shout out for being the one who gave me this tip, and then I erased it, thinking maybe you might want to protect your anonymity.;)