Check out this poor guy’s name. Also, this happened, I think, right down the street from where I live.
(from today’s Journal-Star)

Over the next few years I expect to be following the career of Ryan Budds, a Western grad and aspiring stand-up (who I met a couple of years ago when we took a creative writing class together.)

You should keep your eye out for him, too.

He has already done some kind of high-profile gigs like opening for Dennis Miller–and that was when he was still an undergrad.

Last year, when he was still a student, he opened for Zack Galifinakis in the University Union. I expected him to be at least somewhat funny, but I was almost stunned by his ease in front of what seemed like the entire student body, and his confident stage presence– he was always totally quiet and unassuming in class. I was cracking up through the entire thing–and so were the students.

I can definitely see him going on to “make it out there.” His set that night included quite a few funny barbs about life in Macomb, including the disgusting bathrooms at the Pace, and the joys of shopping at the Macomb Wal-Mart.

Now, check out his latest take on Wally-world and the “Roll back” smiley face (at Ryan’s youtube channel: youtube.com/ryanbudds.) (It’s a link underneath the “hat head” screen). Sorry–I can’t figure out how to link it correctly.

Once again, Rockin’ Rod makes the local news.

(From this week’s Journal-Pilot.)

Surveying the customers

By Joy Swearingen

Hancock County Farm Bureau president, Rod McGaughey, surveyed customers at the biofuel promotion day Friday. Ethanol and biodiesel fuels were sold at a discounted rate to promote their use, and to show drivers how to use the 24-hour fuel station at West Central FS just west of Carthage. In his survey, McGaughey asked two questions* related to the use of E-85, a higher blend of ethanol fuel. In response to asking if drivers would use E-85 fuel if a pump were available, he received 49 “yes” and 40 “no” answers; 15-20 percent already drive a flex-fuel vehicle [....]

* And no, in case you’re wondering: when he was done surveying them, he did not lean in the car window and serenade them with some karaoke Cash!:)

Seriously.

Check out what someone (apparently a scum bag) has been up to in Hancock County.
(From this week’s Journal-Pilot.)

Animal rescuers offer reward to find dog abuser

By Joy Swearingen, Managing editor
Tuesday, August 26, 2008 6:06 PM CDT

West Hancock Canine Rescue has offered a reward for any information leading to the arrest and conviction of the person or people responsible for the brutality to dogs abandoned near Bentley.

[....] Anissa Sadeghi of West Hancock Canine Rescue: “What was done to these pups was cruel and inhumane.”

…. seven Labradoodle puppies dumped near Bentley, with one dog reported dead.

“I was horrified to see these beautiful creatures staring back at me, wild and scared and almost starved to death,” she said. “With the help of the two people that found them, we corralled them until I could get close enough to grab them one by one. These pups out of fear were biting, pooping, peeing and screaming the whole way back to the crate in my truck.”

Two more dead Labradoodles were found in the area, one appeared to have been hit by a car, and both had been cannibalized by the other starving dogs. The dogs were taken to the crowded rescue center.

“I am not sure what we are going to do now,” Sadeghi said. “They are very unsocialized and in pretty bad shape. I have had 19 adult labradoodles that have been dumped at this animal control and we have yet to uncover who is breeding these dogs at such a large number. What was done to these pups is criminal and we want justice for them and their siblings that didn’t survive.”

Weird. And awful.

In addition to the many things I just don’t get about this story is the fact that the dogs are, well, not runts but specifically cross-bred. Like, Perez Hilton‘s dog, Teddy Hilton, is a Labradoodle.

So I assumed these were, like, chi-chi dogs that rich people buy, not the kinds that scumbags would drop off in a ditch.

It’s a cross between a Lab and a Poodle, right? That’s not a mix that just happens accidentally in most peoples’ backyards, but kind of a specialized thing, right?

Or am I wrong about that?

(Can anyone set me straight on this?)

When I was growing up on a farm in Hancock County, it seemed we had a new foster pet every six months because someone had driven down our road and, as soon as they were out of “city” limits, dumped out their skinny kitten/dog with distemper. It was bad enough back then, but now there’s an actual “Hearts of Hancock County” Humane Society they could take their unwanted animals to.

Shame, shame, Labradoodle dropper-offers! Hopefully soon we’ll know your name.

P.S. UPDATE: No, I wasn’t wrong.

Thank you to reader Bill of Macomb for drawing my attention to this lovely little gem (from today’s Journal-Star.) This just gets more and more priceless as the story goes on:

Canton officials receive complaints about nudity at local bar

By BRENDA ROTHERT

of the Journal Star

CANTON(IL) —

Complaints of nudity at a recent “midget wrestling” event at a local bar have drawn the attention of the Canton Liquor Commission.

The bar’s owner, Kim Scott, is a longtime city employee who admits there was some nudity but said she stopped it as soon as she found out it was happening.

The event was held around two weeks ago at Outskirts Bar and Grill at 725 W. Locust St. Since then, city officials have been fielding calls, said Canton city attorney Chrissie Peterson.

“We received several complaints, from they were topless to they were completely nude,” Peterson said.

Men also wrestled at the event, but complainants have said only the women in the Micro Wrestling Federation wrestling group were nude and have alleged at least one was a porn star.

City ordinances prohibit public nudity.

“There was no porn star there,” said Scott, Canton’s Emergency Services Disaster Agency coordinator and the owner of Outskirts. “It was the girls’ first time wrestling. They wrestled in oil and their tops came off. I was outside smoking a cigarette and I stopped it as soon as I came in.”

Peterson said penalties for violating the ordinance range from a fine to liquor license revocation. She said any penalties would be chosen by the liquor commission. Canton Mayor Kevin Meade, Bonnie Stine and Mike Freeman are the commissioners.

Meade said he plans to convene a hearing to look into the complaints soon.

“We have a very clear ordinance about what can and can’t happen to have a liquor license,” he said. “It really doesn’t matter whether the owner is present or not, they are responsible for what happens at their business.”

Scott said she hopes the liquor commission members will consider her service to the city as they determine her penalty.

“I have worked for the city of Canton for 14 years,” she said. “I am the ESDA coordinator. I deal with public safety and security.”

Scott said she has paid security staff at the bar, and police receive very few complaints about disturbances there.

Meade said Scott being a city employee “has no bearing whatsoever. She is a business owner who will be treated like any other business owner.”

Outskirts drew city scrutiny recently because of the ratio of food to liquor sold there. The bar has a Class B supper club liquor license, which requires that at least 60 percent of its sales come from food and no more than 40 percent come from alcohol. Scott must provide documentation that she is meeting those requirements.

Scott said she hopes to get a Class A liquor license and is circulating a petition in support of it. A Class A license would not limit the amount of sales from alcohol.

Scott said she thinks owners of competing bars are complaining about the entertainment she provides because of the business she gets. She said between 150 and 200 people came to the “midget wrestling” event.

(from today’s Journal-Star)

Moline man allegedly takes hostages, sends pair out for beer

Associated Press

FORT MADISON, Iowa —

A Moline man who police say held five people hostage in a Fort Madison motel was arrested after he sent two of his hostages on a beer run.

Police say Jason Slagel, 33, is charged with five counts of false imprisonment and going armed with intent. They say Slagel pulled a knife during an argument Tuesday night with another man and told the people in the room that they wouldn’t be allowed to leave.

One man was cut and Slagel had a cut on his hand, but police say the injuries weren’t serious.

Police say that after awhile, Slagel got thirsty and sent two of his hostages out for beer.

After they left they called police and Slagle was arrested without incident.

All at once, a flurry of much-needed quality-of-life improvements seem to be on the horizon here in Forgotonia!

1) Over the last several weeks, there has been mention in the media of a potential bike-and-pedestrian path.

2) Then, more efforts to try to get a downtown arts center up and running (right on the square, no less–possibly in the old, empty Maurice’s building.)

3) Yesterday’s Macomb Journal mentioned that there may once again be interest in restoring the historic Lamoine Hotel.

4) The city council is actually discussing trying to re-work Adams Street to create more of a campustown feel.

5) AND, the city is making plans to create a downtown historic district.

This stuff is huge! In stodgy and conservative ol’ Forgotonia, these kinds of improvements are landmark.

But alas, this list does not even contain the most important development!

Behold, my friends, the best news to hit Macomb in quite some time:

According to the Macomb Journal,

one of the six city ordinances “available for aldermanic discussion” at the next city council meeting?

“6) Creating a package liquor license for the Aldi’s grocery store on East Jackson Street.”

Whooo hooo!!! Aldi wine!!! Packaged!!! It’s about damn time!!!! Bring on the Winking Owl and Montezuma!!
–

Adams Street has a new business.

When I popped in to this place today, they didn’t have the book I needed.

But, unlike Chapman’s next-door, they were at least open past 5 p.m.

(So. The verdict is still out.)

They guy working there was really friendly.

But check out some of the quotes from the story below, which make it sound like the owner came up with the idea to open the business, like, a whole 24 hours before the semester started.

(from the Western Courier)

Sarge’s Bookstore marches into town

Sarah Zeeck

Sarge’s Bookstore is located next to International Sandwich Shop on Adams Street.

Chapman’s and the Union bookstore are no longer alone in Macomb’s textbook sale/resale business. A fresh contender, Sarge’s Bookstore, has made a home on Adams Street next to the International Sandwich Shop, in the building previously occupied by Bronze It. Steve Gundy, manager of Sarge’s, said the bookstore was named after his bulldog.

After a year of working through location issues and month of day and night labor to prepare the store for the public, the bookstore opened its doors for the first time on Saturday, just in time for students to make their yearly pilgrimage back to Macomb.

“We’ve spent a lot of late nights getting shelving up, getting computers set up, getting registers set up, getting all the books on the shelves,” Gundy said. “It has just been a major effort just trying to get all of this in.”

Though it has only been in operation for a few days, Gundy has been satisfied with the turnout they have received. “We haven’t had the time to advertise or promote ourselves like we would like to, but that’s probably good for this semester because we have limited staffing right now.”

Gundy added that since they had little time to get the books they needed, some of the texts for this semester weren’t available [um yeah!]. “It was such a rush to get everything here, but we’ve been well received by the students,” he said.

[I'm sure the University Bookstore and Chapman's people really loved this paragraph]:
Sarge’s differs from the other bookstores in many ways. The front window boasts they have the “Best deals on textbooks” and Gundy said that price wise, they were significantly cheaper. He also said the employees pulled the books from he shelves for the students as they need them. “We know the books and we know where they’re at so there’s not a bunch of people huddled up in one aisle and tripping over each other,” Gundy added.

1) So there’s a new person in my life.
(that’s not the unbelievable part.)

Two weekends ago, when he came to visit me, I had to leave the house around 10 p.m. to run a quick errand.

In the darkness (and not used to having anyone else parked in my driveway), I backed into his car.
(He still likes me.)

2) The next day, I was supposed to give recently-spayed-and-de-clawed Okie (see “Help me name this cat“) a shot of kitty morphine every couple of hours.

For her evening shot, the new person—who doesn’t even like cats—agreed to help me corral Okie and hold her by the scruff to get access to her gums, where I was supposed to give the shot.

The new person is so nice, he even volunteered to do the shot-giving himself.

And then?

My new person ended up with a huge squirt of kitty morphine in his eyeball.

So our Saturday night date started off with an emergency call to the vet’s after-hours number, and the New Person sticking his head under the kitchen tap for a full five minutes.

(And he still likes me.)

3) Two days after that…. I fell down the stairs.

In this building:

(From the “McDonough County This Week,” a week ago or so).

Tommy Cash? Who knew?!?

Not only was the legendary Johnny‘s brother interviewed about his, er… lucrative gig at the Bushnell Fall Festival (which took place last weekend), but in it, he griped a little bit about his lack of screen time and slammed the writers of Oscar-winning “Walk the Line,” claiming the movie unfairly depicted the Cash brothers’ father as a tyrant: