You know you’re from Forgotonia when… (Chapter 42)

June 24th, 2008 by Rural_Rose


...you go to the one restaurant in town that has sushi* on the menu, only to be greeted by a sign (two pieces of 8.5 x 11 copy paper, scrawled on with black marker) taped on the door, explaining in great detail (both pages full of writing) why, now that all the university students are back home in the suburbs for the summer, it is no longer possible to order sushi on demand; it can only be offered one day per week.

*I don’t even eat it. But… I’m just saying. It’s pretty funny.

P.S. Why is there someone out there with a flickr.com account that contains scanned-in pictures of Macomb restaurant menus?
Weirdo. (Thanks, though).

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Good news: Student Prince’s reign to continue!

June 24th, 2008 by Rural_Rose

Here’s a place that’s been around forever: the little old Student Prince.

Situated on East Jackson Street (amidst your typical American Wal-Mart/fast-food/chain store main drag), this little place has truly got the mom-and-pop, greasy-spoon-in-a-good-way kind of feel.

In the past, adding to that authenticity was secondhand smoke so thick you could consider yourself reeking by the time you had enjoyed your omelet. Now, in this smoking-ban era, and with this announcement (from the Macomb Journal), I’m thinking it’s ‘pert near time to give the ‘Prince another try. (Especially now that they’re adding outside seating. It’s about damn time this town got an al fresco option! Seriously. Macomb has a weird aversion to outside dining. What gives??)

*In case you’re wondering, and I know you are, it’s hard to pin down exactly where the name “Student Prince” came from. (And I can speak with authority on this–in a very Cliff-Claven kind of way, mind you–because I once wrote a story about it when I was a wee cub reporter for the Macomb Journal.)

The place closed down briefly in the summer of 1999, but, much to the relief of many a coffee-drinking, cap-wearing, Pall-Mall-smoking old man, was promptly purchased and re-opened by another family. As I was doing my closing-then-reopening story, when I inquired about the name, the best theory anyone could come up with was that, back in the 1950′s, there had apparently been an opera by the same name.

(No explanation as to what an opera and a greasy spoon have to do with one another, however.)

Macomb, Ill. -Jason Peck wasn’t satisfied with the amount of ice cream options in Macomb, so he figured he’d add one.

The co-owner of the Student Prince restaurant said the Jackson Street mainstay will soon be making and selling its own ice cream along with several upgrades the business is undergoing.

As far as ice cream in town, there is only Dairy Queen. That just doesn’t do it for me,” Peck said. “We’re making hard ice cream, not soft serve. We’ll probably have eight to 10 flavors on hand any given day.”

The addition of ice cream is just one of the new additions to the restaurant. Construction is underway on a walk-up window that will serve customers in the business’ planned outdoor seating area.

Peck said he plans to clean up the parking lot behind the building and add a fence and six picnic tables for customers to enjoy the restaurant’s fare outdoors.

The inside of the restaurant won’t be ignored in the upgrade, however.

“We’re getting new menus. We’re repainting the interior and exterior. All the booths are going to be recovered. It’s going to look completely different,” Peck said. “The place has been in need of an update for a while now.”

What Peck said isn’t going to change much is the food. The restaurant will keep everything it has always served save a few items. Peck said they have already added homemade corned beef to the menu and will eventually start serving waffles.

The official name of the restaurant will grow to “Student Prince Diner and Ice Cream Shop.” While the business hasn’t shut down through the construction, it will have its grand re-opening on June 28.

Overall, Peck said the ownership is trying to improve the business to better serve its customers.

“When the place opened up it was a town hangout,” Peck said. “I kind of want to bring that back and give families a reason to come back here.”

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Advice, please.

June 19th, 2008 by Rural_Rose


It seems to be the case that I have inherited a pet.

She appeared on my deck late Friday night/early Saturday morning. My cousin and I discovered her when we came home from our quiet evening of knitting and painting each other’s toenails–yeah right, from our night of *closing the bar down.** (But that’s another story. One about how it’s been awhile since Tornado Ali was the kind of girl who closed bars down. Which we won’t get into right now.)

Anyway, it was 2:30-ish a.m. and as my cuz’ and I were winding down for the night I was all discombobbled wondering why my cat, Sally O’Malley, was whining like crazy.

Turned out it wasn’t actually her, but a teeny little black kitty outside my screen door. She was meowing like mad, begging to be let inside.

Cut to today, Wednesday. She’s still around. I’ve been feeding her. She still desperately wants to come inside, but I haven’t let her.

Each time she appears in front of the screen door or one of the open windows, the normally very sweet-tempered Sally O’Mally hisses like crazy and bares her fangs. It’s unsettling. (“Sally!” I keep tsk-tsking at her. “Be a nice girl! That is one of your own brethren, for heaven’s sake!”)

Other than the aforementioned aggression, the troubling thing about this situation is that this little kitty is wearing a collar. A collar with a bell, but without a nametag.

I put up an ad on the electronic bulletin board at work, and I called the local radio station that does pet-lost-and-found ads. My neighbor and landlord has tried most people in the neighborhood, to no avail.

She’s still whining constantly and wants to come inside. And I feel so badly thinking some little kid is missing his/her pet. (Then again, as several people have pointed out to me, there’s a high possibility that some college students just dumped her off.)

Oh-So-Important Questions/Dilemmas:

  • If I DO decide to keep this cat, can I morally, rightfully force her to remain an outside cat? (I just can’t let her inside. I’ve already got enough scratched-up-furniture issues to deal with because of Sally O. Plus, what if they got into a cat fight? (guys, does that turn you on?)
  • How much will I have to pay to make sure it’s had all the right shots, etc.?
  • I don’t know if it’s a boy or girl.. so can you or someone you know come over to my house and lift up its tale and tell me whether or not this cat hast testicles? Yeah, I am so not going to do that.
  • And most importantly, what should its name be? If I go with a Saturday Night Live theme, the next most obvious choice (after Sally O’Malley) is, of course, Toonces. But this cat just so does not look like a Toonces. I’m thinking of abandoning SNL altogether and going more with a hobo/runaway/escapee theme, considering how this cat has come into my life. (As well as 1970′s cheesy pop theme and my ongoing obsession with Into the Wild)I’m thinking: Supertramp.

    Send me your votes!!!

One Response to “Advice, please.”

  1. Gburgirl says:

    IF it’s a boy, MacGruber. If it’s a girl, Caitlyn (after Amy Pohler’s character of the one-legged, white trashy gameshow contestant).

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Gulf Port, Dallas City, Lomax, etc. in the national news

June 18th, 2008 by Rural_Rose

Man, what a bad situation. It stresses me out just to have a damp basement. I can’t imagine what these folks are going through. It’s so sad to think of all the homes and crops that are being lost.

My parents’ home and farm is far enough from the Mississippi, thankfully, to stay out of the floodwaters’ reach. But just up the road, Dallas City is suffering.

Hancock County Sheriff John Jefferson is quoted on CNN.com today:

GLADSTONE, Illinois (CNN) — Residents of this small town in Illinois, like many others who live along the banks of the surging Mississippi River, raced against the clock Tuesday to erect a makeshift levee as rising floodwaters threatened.

Bryan Schulte watches over a sandbag levee Tuesday in Burlington, Iowa.

Bryan Schulte watches over a sandbag levee Tuesday in Burlington, Iowa.

“I’m not moving, not moving my business,” said Byron Sebastian, a longtime resident of Gladstone, Illinois, who also serves on the city council. “We’ve got a lot of good people here helping to try to save this part of town.”

Gladstone is one of many towns under threat Tuesday after rising waters breached a 300-foot area of a levee near Gulf Port, Illinois, before 5 a.m.

Levees all along the mid-Mississippi were being topped with sandbags Tuesday as the river, fed by its flooded tributaries, continued to rise.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich called up 1,100 National Guard members to assist in sandbagging efforts, said Patti Thompson of the Illinois Emergency Management Agency. She also said inmates are helping on the levees and others are bagging sand in correctional institutions.

“We were very, very disappointed that this levee broke today,” said Thompson. “It’s a very powerful river, and it can be hard to harness.”

With the help of the National Guard, Sebastian and his fellow residents hustled Tuesday to build a barrier between Gladstone and the encroaching floodwaters.

Even though Gladstone is about four miles from the banks of the Mississippi, the rising floodwaters have submerged homes and created rivers where crop fields once stood.

The muddy townspeople worked with anxious resolve, cracking the occasional joke, as they filled bags with sand and dirt and loaded them onto ATVs.

On the receiving end were members of the Illinois National Guard, who piled up the sandbags as the tops of cornstalks rose above the waters behind them.

“Threats can happen in all shapes and forms, so we are trying to help out,” said National Guardsman Capt. Lanny Finn, whose unit previously served in Iraq. “We’ll be here for as long as we’re needed.”

Sebastian, who lived through floods in 1993, said he never thought he’d have to experience them again.

“We thought that was bad, but this is a lot worse than it was in ’93,” said Sebastian. “Now we got some lakefront property.”

Elsewhere in Illinois, authorities closed the Great River Bridge on U.S. 34 [They're talking about Burlington here], which connects Illinois to Iowa over the swollen Mississippi, as authorities evacuated about 400 people in Henderson County.

The sheriff of Henderson County, where the Mississippi River borders the entire western edge of the county, said authorities are still concerned about the communities of Gulf Port, Carman, Lomax and Dallas City.

“It’s been an uphill battle from the start, and the levee just broke loose,” he said.

Sheriff John Jefferson of Hancock County, Illinois, said water was “very, very close” to the top of some areas of the county’s two levees.

“We’ve had to evacuate some areas already, but the areas that have not been evacuated yet, we’re just keeping our fingers crossed and hoping that the levee will hold,” he said.

In two of the county’s communities, Rio Vista* and Pontoosuc, power has been shut off in all but 20 residences, a spokeswoman for the sheriff’s office said.

Missouri also began to feel the force of the surging Mississippi Tuesday, as water began to top multiple levees east of Highway 79, forcing authorities to suspend sandbagging efforts at a levee near Foley, officials said Tuesday.

In Northwest Missouri, towns and cities along the Mississippi River were bracing for flooding later this week as swollen waters head downriver.

Communities at high risk of record flooding include Quincy, Illinois, and Hannibal, Missouri, according to National Weather Service modeling. Moderate flooding is possible later in the week in Alton, Illinois, and St. Louis, Missouri.

The floods began heading downriver Monday to Illinois and Missouri, relieving Iowa somewhat after two weeks of natural disasters that killed 17 people, displaced 38,000 and caused more than $1 billion in crop damages.

“The good news is the floodwater is receding in much of the state,” said David Miller, administrator for the Iowa Homeland Security and Emergency Management Division. “The bad news is we’re still in a flood fight.”

President Bush said he and a team will travel to Iowa this week [I'm glad he can find time in his busy golfing schedule.] State and federal officials also plan to meet there this week to decide the best way to house displaced residents, said Bill Vogel, a federal coordinator with the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

In Washington, Sen. Tom Harkin of Iowa said the flooding has devastated his state’s corn crop. Floods prompted farm-equipment manufacturer John Deere to idle two plants in Waterloo, Iowa, he said.

“Across eastern Iowa, the flooding rivers have washed out railroad lines; Mississippi barge traffic has come to a halt and [flooding has] closed major roadways,” said Harkin, the Democratic chairman of the Senate Agriculture Committee. “Thousands of Iowa businesses, large and small, have been impacted.”

Harkin said Iowans “are a resilient and resourceful people,” but will need “generous federal assistance” to recover.

FEMA has set up six disaster recovery centers in Iowa and has provided nearly $4 million in assistance, state and federal officials reported. So far, 24 counties are under federal disaster declarations, making residents eligible for individual aid, Lt. Gov. Patty Judge reported.

By Tuesday afternoon, residents of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, where the Cedar River inundated more than 400 city blocks, were beginning to return home as the rivers lessened, said Lu Barron, a Linn County supervisor.

“We’re doing pretty good,” she said. “People are getting into their businesses, and getting into their homes.” she said.

She estimated that thousands of people had returned to their homes after authorities inspected them to make sure they were safe.

The death of one woman whose body was found in her car Monday was determined unrelated to the floods, said Courtney Greene, a spokeswoman for the governor’s office and the state Emergency Operations Center.

Amtrak service from Chicago, Illinois, to St. Paul, Minnesota, and to Kansas City, Missouri, was disrupted by the flooding.

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Sorry, ladies, you’ll have to get your Cool Whip elsewhere…

June 18th, 2008 by Rural_Rose

The following is a true story.

Well, at least I think it is.

I heard it from a decent source (my mom).

It goes like this.

As most of you Carthaginians/Hancock Countians probably already know, for the last several years, the owner of the Wood (the main hangout in town for those over 21/ the most impressive business success-story in such a small town in a long time / and, let’s be honest, site of more hookups than is probably, like, legal), has been continuing to upgrade the place.

Several years ago, he added a bevy of antique signs. You know the kind–big metal signs for old service-stations and beer brands, that type of thing.

And by all means, the place looks nice.

But awhile ago when I was in Carthage, I drove down Main Street and wondered what in the world the owner was thinking when he purchased and put up a giant “IGA” sign next door to the bar. (As in, IGA the small-town-grocery-store chain, which our town’s only grocery store formerly belonged to.)

I get the whole kitschy antique thing, and I like it. But..doesn’t it seem a little overboard, I wondered? Like…you decide to do your kid’s nursery in Winnie the Pooh, and then, after awhile, you like it so much you decide to, like, get a Pooh-shaped mailbox or something?

Well, I learned recently that I wasn’t the only one feeling a bit confused by the somewhat overzealous-seeming signage.

Apparently when the new sign went up, a couple of little old ladies parked their cars outside and tried to go in, all excited that Carthage was getting a new grocery store.

(Hopefully they eased their pain and disappointment by stopping over next door for a couple of hot toddies…)


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You Know You’re From Forgotonia When (Ch. 3)

June 18th, 2008 by Rural_Rose


… you go to the new-ish meetup.com to see what kinds of cultural opportunities exist in your area, and this is what you land on (and these are the nearest options):

The Farmington Area Moms Meetup
Welcome!! This group will focus on building friendships for both the mommy and child. I hope you will find long lasting friendships and an amazing group of fun women!! We firmly believe in friends and family. I encourage you to check out our group About Us to learn more about our group and our guidelines. I hope to meet you soon!

34.2 miles
away in
Farmington, IL

The Galesburg Weight Loss Meetup
No recent ratings

Meet with other local people who are interested in weight loss and management. Gather to share tips, recipes, and keep each other motivated! We will also match members based on schedule and activity level so you are less likely to walk or exercise alone!

(if you expand the search to “within 100 miles,” however, you can join anything from the Iowa City Sufism Club to the Springfield Free Thinkers–who are having a party to look at someone’s tadpoles in their garden!)

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The answer is no, I apparently *don’t* have the sense to come in out of the rain.

June 17th, 2008 by Rural_Rose

Guess where I was yesterday when the really bad storm hit?

Standing out in the middle of the open prairie without a shred of coverage or shelter.
To be exact, I was taking a walk in the Oakwood Cemetery just near my house.
(Okay, so, not quite open prairie, but still.)

I am seriously lucky I didn’t get struck my lightning.

Of course, anyone who saw the sky right before this thing hit would know not to venture outside.

But in my defense, when I left my house about an hour beforehand, it was a perfectly pleasant June afternoon.


And as I did laps around Glenwood Park, people were pulling up at the pool and paying, going inside, the whole time I was walking. So all seemed to be perfectly peaceful. (In other words, I was not the only one who didn’t sense this baby coming.)

After I’d been walking about 45 minutes, I decided to cross over to Oakwood Cemetery across the street and run a lap. (Yeah, I know, “me” and “run” in same sentence. Don’t laugh.)

So, for the length of time it took to get to the end of the cemetery, which wasn’t very long, I had my back to the west.

As soon as I turned back west to head home, I had no more looked up at the green sky and thought, “oh crap,” then WHOOSH, this huge blast of wind and rain unleashed and a bunch of flowers and other grave-decorations left over from Memorial Day lifted up in the air as if by a giant vacuum.

If there had been thunder serving as a warning, I hadn’t heard it because I was rocking out with the ‘pod.

There was no sprinkling, my friends.

There was not a single drop of “hey, it’s coming, you might want to find shelter” kind of rain.

It was just instant inundation—and I was trapped. All at once I tried to wrap up my iPod and stick it the waistband of my shorts and dart to someplace, anyplace where I’d be protected.

I ran to the east entrance of the cemetery , panting and frantically trying all the doors of the shed and outbuildings, but all were locked. With about every other step, I jumped and yelped as lightning flashed.

I couldn’t decide which was more safe / more stupid: to stand there trying unsuccessfully to find shelter, or to try to run back home, because in either scenario I was like a lightning magnet.
(Damn underwire bra.)

Finally I decided it was too far to run home, so I ran toward the mausoleum. I guess I would rather spend a few minutes potentially being haunted by ghosts, I figured, than getting fried. But it, too, was locked. So I tucked myself in the teeny-tiny bit of coverage that its entryway afforded me, and watched as Memorial Day decorations whipped through the sky. I was so drenched my shoes were full of water. My clothes were so drenched they were heavy.

After it seemed to have calmed down a little I decided to make a run for home.

But as soon as I was out of the mausoleum doorway and out onto the street, I realized it was still lightning- ing.

All the way up the hill to my house, with each squishy step that pounded the pavement, I prayed “pleaseGoddon’tletmegetstruckbylightningPleaseGoddon’tletmegetstruckbylightningPleaseGodPleaseGod” etc. etc etc.

(The moral of this story?

Never exercise.)


Later, I talked to my parents, who said Carthage had bit hard; most businesses didn’t have power and my parents’ phone was out. They lost several shingles off the roof, too. The storm did this to a friend of mine’s house in Bushnell:


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Don DeLillo “White Noise” moment near my parents’ house

June 16th, 2008 by Rural_Rose

Jeeze, this isn’t scary or anything.

As the floodwaters continue to rise in the heart of the Midwest–recently causing one of my best friends to have to take a SEVEN HOUR detour home from Iowa City (on what should have been an hour-and-a-half trip)–there’s dangerous black stuff oozing down the road just near where my parents live.

(This bulletin from WGEM:)

Carbon Black Spill in Hancock County
Not only having the issues of the flood to deal with, the Dallas City area was subjected to a Carbon Black spill starting at the Intersection of Rt. 9 & 94 and continuing through Dallas City then east into Henderson County. Six miles of Hancock County road was affected.

An IDOT representative was in Dallas City Sunday morning to met with Dallas City officials, HCESDA, and IEMA.

Carbon Black is a substance used in the manufacture of rubber tires and belts. It is a fine powdery substance. Residents in the area are urged to keep home windows closed, to refrain driving on the affected road, but if you do need to do so, keep your windows rolled up.

According to the IEPA, carbon black is NOT a hazmat material, however it is an inhalation irritant. It may also be irritating to the skin and nose, mouth, throat and respiratory tract. According to information from the Hancock County Health Department, the skin should be cleaned with soap and water. There are no well documented health hazards to humans from acute exposure to carbon black. If you have further questions, please contact the Hancock County Health Department or your health professional.

Dallas City residents are asked to report to West 3rd and Spruce after 1pm and sign up with Joyce Ellison. Be sure to keep all receipts from purchases you’ve had to make to clean up the carbon black.

One Response to “Don DeLillo “White Noise” moment near my parents’ house”

  1. Fred Iutzi says:

    Whoa, great catch. The carbon black spill was totally the Airborne Toxic Event. Vague information, ambiguously sinister implications, total lack of clarity on what actions to take, bizarre statements from minor public officials, etc. They actually have hazmat crews in full protective gear vacuuming the grass in Dallas City now, while people just go about their normal business nearby.

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I’ll let this one speak for itself…

June 13th, 2008 by Rural_Rose

(from today’s Journal Star)


After Web date goes awry, woman’s car vandalized

Posted Jun 12, 2008 @ 08:36 PM
PEORIA —

For one Peoria woman, Cupid’s arrow may have missed its target, creating quite a stink.

The 45-year-old thought she’d try her luck last week, meeting a man from the dating Web site Cupid.com at his house.

The meeting was cut short after the 43-year-old man showed her his collection of stink bait, used for catching catfish. The shotgun lying out on a table didn’t help, either.

A half hour later she was on her way home, and since then, the man has called multiple times, sometimes leaving derogatory messages, according to police reports.

But it wasn’t until Wednesday morning when the woman found a stinky surprise in her car that she called the police.

Fish bait had been pushed deep into the vents of the woman’s car, which was parked outside her home in the 7200 block of North Lakeside Court.

Even a mechanic couldn’t remove all the fish bait, and damage to her vehicle was estimated at $1,000.

One Response to “I’ll let this one speak for itself…”

  1. Kim says:

    this dude must be really ticked, that would smell way worst than when you ran over a skunk in the Monster Boatster!

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Sex and the Two-Screen Theatre

June 13th, 2008 by Rural_Rose

I’m going to see “Sex and the City: The Movie” tonight! Whoo-hoo!

However, I, along with my gang of gals from Forgotonia, will be making a mad dash out of Macomb after work to make the hour-long drive to Galesburg, and squeeze in a meal beforehand, to catch the 6:40 showing.

(The two-screen megaplex in Macomb is still offering “Caspian,” I think, and the cinematic genius that “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan*” appears to be.)

Then we’ll be rushing back home in the darkness to try to get home in decent time, since we all have jobs/kids/lives to tend to tomorrow.)

If we were Carrie and the gang, of course, being out late on a weeknight would not bother us. (And none of us would actually ever be doing any work, either…but that’s beside the point…..)

*I still have yet to find an exception to the rule that you can judge the quality of a movie, sitcom or band by the crappiness of its title.

One Response to “Sex and the Two-Screen Theatre”

  1. Kim says:

    I had so much fun!!!

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